So That's What It's Like
by Melody H. Grace
Summary: One-Shot: Lily stops being friends with Severus in Fifth Year, and then starts going out with James in Seventh Year. Severus was still in love with Lily, and emotions are impossible to dodge. NO LE/SS! I AM A LE/JP SUPPORTER ALWAYS!


**SQUEE! MY FIRST REAL HARRY POTTER FANFIC! Okay, so I got bored of writing Gakuen Alice, so I'm breaking from them to make way for **_**the**_** best book series in the world. I have a few other one-shot ideas besides this one, so they'll be posted soon enough.**

**For those of you who don't know me; Hi! I'm Melody H. Grace! You can call me Melli, if you'd like. I like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Harry Potter, the Wicked trilogy, Harry Potter, cheese and crackers, and Harry Potter. Ooh! Did I forget Harry Potter?**

**Yes I'm a little bit obsessed with Harry Potter…**

**But you know what; I am me and I like myself!**

**Oh, I sounded a bit like a narcissist there, didn't I?**

**Well, I'm not. Or, at least I don't think I am…**

**Oh well.**

**Wow, this Author's Note is a bit long, isn't it.**

**Ah, it's a bad habit. You should see my FictionPress, they get pretty long on there too…**

**Oh, poo! I just made it longer didn't I?**

**Wait, I'm doing it right now!**

**MUST! STOP! AUTHOR'S! NOTE!**

**-sighs- I'll just get to the story now…**

-:- -:- -:-

As noon approached the summer of 1971 in the little town of Surrey, one could bet that they would see two ten-year-old children, a boy and a girl, running excitedly towards the river. The girl would always be ahead, her flaming red hair blazing behind her, while the boy would awkwardly run behind her, as to make sure that his baggy coat wouldn't fall off. It wasn't a particularly attractive coat, but neither child paid attention; they were too focused on having a good time.

One might even claim that, one day, the two would end up married.

-:- -:- -:-

"Hey, Severus?" The boy turned towards the girl, his black, matted hair flying behind him in the process. This is what they would do everyday-she would ask a question, and they would have an extremely long chat for hours.

"Yeah, Lily?" Severus replied, blushing slightly. He was taken by Lily, having harbored a crush on her for five years. Finally, after finding out that she was a witch, meaning that they would attend Hogwarts together, he had finally worked up the courage to talk to her.

"What do you think love is like?" she asked. Severus froze.

"L-L-Love?" he stammered. This chat was probably going to bite him in the butt.

"Yeah…I mean, Tuney always says that she's in love with this Dursley guy in year above her, but she refuses to explain it to me, 'cos I'm younger. Which isn't fair since she's been saying it since she was nine and I'm eleven now," Lily turned towards Severus and smiled warmly. His heart fluttered. "But you're my friend and friends wonder about stuff,"

"I-I suppose…" Severus said, sort of incoherently. Lily's grin widened as they sat and pondered.

An hour passed before Severus spoke.

"I think that love is kind of like friendship, only better. When you're in love with someone, you're also kind of like your best friends. You understand everything about them, you like the same stuff that they do, and it all fits. The only difference is that it's only between a guy and a girl, and they get to do stuff like snog," Severus blushed slightly at the thought of kissing Lily. Lily, meanwhile, thought for a second.

"I think your right. Mum and Dad were best friends ever since they were our age, and they told Tuney and I how great it is to marry someone who you know so well," Lily's everlasting grin widened even more (if possible). Then, she did something he would never forget.

She leaned over and lightly kissed him on the cheek.

He felt his cheeks turn fire engine red as he grinned. Lily returned the grin with equal happiness, minus the blush.

"I'll see you tomorrow! I can't wait 'til Hogwarts starts, so that I can see you all the time and not just for a few hours!" And just like that, she was gone. As Severus Snape lay back onto the grass, one thought rose above it. Slowly, he voiced it.

"So that's what love's like…"

-:- -:- -:-

Severus scoffed at the memory of his ten-year-old self. He pulled his head out of the Pensive and turned towards Professor Slughorn.

"My Memory Tangibility Potion is ready to be tested, Professor," he said. Professor Slughorn chuckled as he pulled one of his own memories out of his mind to be viewed. Severus sat down and tried to get a hold of himself.

It's been almost eight years since that moment occurred, when the beautiful Lily Evans kissed him on the cheek. Eight years since she said that she couldn't wait to see him every day.

Eight years since he fell in love with her.

He knew that he was a fool to even hope that one day, Lily would realize that she made a mistake in abandoning him as a friend, or maybe even realize that she could return for his feelings. And yet, he was still hoping.

It shouldn't have been this way. He shouldn't be the one who was sitting out, cursing the other male that stole Lily's heart. He should be the one sitting with her on the edge of the lake, gently rubbing the palm of her hand, and, occasionally, stealing a kiss from her rosy lips.

But Fate decided that he was not worth it and that he should die cold and alone. And, unsurprisingly, Severus would have wished the same thing on Fate if it was…well…actually a person, rather than one's course for the future.

"Ah! Excellent, Mr. Snape! You may be excused, and join your housemates," Professor Slughorn said, clapping his hands together. Severus curtly nodded, grabbed his fraying schoolbag, and left.

_Housemates_ was what Slughorn said. Not _classmates_. _Housemates_. Because Slytherins couldn't be friends with _anyone_ outside of their house. No, that would be bad. Severus had known that it would be hard from the beginning. But the fact was that the object of his affections, the holder of his heart (who had ever so kindly smashed it), was in Gryffindor.

Which just doubled Severus's hatred for Fate right there.

He wished that he could borrow one of the Ministry's experimental Time Turners. He wished that he could turn back the clock and make sure that he never said that ugly word that ruined his friendship with her.

_Mudblood._

Oh, how he despised that word! And yet, he had to hear it millions of times every day, because Slytherins had to hate Muggleborns. It was like an unspoken rule. The only rule that Severus dared to break. He was in love with Lily. That's why he kept all of the notes they had passed back and forth together back when they were still friends. That's why his Patronus was the same as hers-a majestic doe. That's why he hexed Avery and Mulciber to Hell and back (without them realizing, of course-he didn't have a death wish, after all…) every time that they dared to even plan about hurting Lily.

But now, it's too late. In two weeks, she'll leave Hogwarts forever and he'll be confined there until he was finished with his apprenticeship to become a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. The least he can do to help the poor, misunderstood Slytherins from being pranked by evil Gryffindors that weren't provoked in anyway-they were just bored.

Like James Potter, for instance.

Potter was the evil curse that pranked Severus for no reason at all. Potter was the one who made Severus have long, purple hair for three weeks due to an "accidentally-placed, misdirected" spell. Potter was the one that made Severus's time at Hogwarts a personal Hell.

Potter was the also the one who was in love with Lily.

As much as he hated to admit it, Severus also knew that Lily was truly in love with Potter. And that he really shouldn't be hoping.

Especially since he was currently passing the two, snogging for all of England to see. On Lily's left hand, a shiny diamond ring glittered on her fourth finger. Severus, having fantasized about some day placing one on her hand, knew that it must have been only given to her that afternoon. But that didn't stop the hurt.

He quickly dropped his backpack and started running towards his special place, ignoring Lily's sweet voice asking "What was that?"

-:- -:- -:-

Severus made it to the seventh floor in record time. Pacing next to a bare stretch of wall, he began to chant over and over "I need my special place. I need my special place", eyes shut firmly. When he opened them, he found a giant double-door doorway. He hastily went inside.

He learned about this place in his sixth year, mere months after the "Incident", as he referred to it.

It was actually very small, with just a couch, a small, Muggle lamp on a table, a small bookshelf with his favorite books, and a fire place. Next to the lamp on the table was a wizard photograph with Lily and himself sitting on the grass together, acting like they did when they were friends. Except that the photo changed with time, so whenever Severus got a scar from a Potter Prank (never mind that Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew were also in on it), Photo-Lily was tenderly stroking the area on Photo-Severus. Now, Photo-Lily was showing her new diamond ring to Photo-Severus, whom was smiling weakly against her bright smile. Between the photo and what happened earlier, he forced his face into the pillows and cried.

"Severus?" a timid voice asked. Severus darted up and turned around, trying to hold back the tears that had already fallen. To his shock and confusion, Lily was standing in the doorway, not quite sure how she was supposed to greet him. She fiddled with her ring as she bit her lip.

"Don't you mean 'Snape'?" Severus asked softly, not exactly mad, but not ready to start skipping around the school singing "I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS! GIVE ME ALL YOUR JEWLERY!" "I mean, that's what you've been calling me that for the last two years," Lily bit her lip even harder, making Severus worry that she would start bleeding.

"I want to apologize on James's part for hurting you. I know that you don't really like him, and that he doesn't like you either," That was the understatement of the century… "But, James really is a sweet person, and I think that he was upset that we were friends,"

"Oh, I can tell. I mean, the sweetness practically oozes out of him like syrup," Severus said sarcastically. Lily smiled slightly.

"Like Tuney's homemade syrup?" she asked, eyes lighting up slightly. Severus snorted.

"God, HELL no!" he exclaimed "It wasn't even syrup! It was maple juice! It was easier to drink it than to put it on waffles! Not that I wanted to put it on waffles anyway…" Lily started to laugh, Severus following not far behind. He laughed for a long time until he realized that Lily had stopped. He ceased his laughing, plunging the pair into an awkward silence.

"Anyway…" Lily started. Severus's head snapped to attention. "I also want to thank you," Severus's face changed to that of confusion.

"Why, Lily-Billy?" He asked. The corners of Lily's lips turned up slightly at the childhood nickname that he made for her during the summer before second year.

"Because if you didn't tell me what love was like I…well…" She blushed. "I wouldn't be engaged to James." Severus froze. _He_ caused the love of his life to fall in love with another man! HOW?!?!

"How so?" Severus asked, trying to keep the frightened panic out of his voice. Lily smiled.

"You told me that 'love is like friendship, only better'. If I hadn't known that, I wouldn't have realized that I was really in love with James, so…thank you!" Lily threw her arms around him. If Severus wasn't frozen then, he sure was now. The first time that Lily had a decent conversation with him in two years, and she was hugging him.

"Even if James doesn't really accept it, you're still my best friend," Lily said, and kissed him on the cheek.

The same one that she did almost a decade ago. Wow.

Lily smiled and waved as she left his special place. Severus slowly lifted a hand to his cheek as he reclined gently back into the couch.

He knew that he was lucky to even be considered one of Lily's friends, let alone a best friend. But that irrational side of him still wanted her to love him back. To realize that she made a mistake with Potter (or will he now have to call him 'James'?), chuck the ring into the Black Lake and accept him as Severus Snape and the one she loved. Sighing, he voiced all of the emotions caused by this confusion in himself in six words:

"So that's what pain is like…"

-:- -:- -:-

**Poor Severus…I kind of feel bad for him. He's really misunderstood. Kind of like Cornelius Fudge. And Luna Lovegood. I love Luna in a way that makes me wish that she was my older sister. I already have a one-shot idea for her…**

**Before I have a repeat of my earlier Author's Note (much…too…long…grr…), I'll just say "Toodles!" here.**

**Cheers!**

**Melody H. Grace**

**P.S: Don't you love the word "toodles" it's so much fun to say…**


End file.
